Thoughts? Feelings? Meditation? Rumination? Speculation? Reflection?..................Lets just call this post "hello everyone"

Mmmmmmmm....Well first again a big thank you for all your support.

Not sure what my feelings were just a couple of hours before starting this post. They ranged from disbelief to astonishment with a lot of fear mingled in. Loneliness has never been an option thanks mainly to Jaq but your good wishes certainly play a part.  My feelings now have changed because sometimes you have to sit up and accept "it is what it is" so now stand up and look for your route through "is".

So let me go back a week or so. The 13th was the MRI, 16th was the CT scan, and the 17th I had the Endoscopy. Over that 4/5 days everything seemed to be going swiftly although the 17th was not a good day with the enterologist confirming  the growth spotted by the consultant's initial exam was cancerous.

He said the partial obstruction of the bowel by this growth was the cause of my inability to dispose of waste in the normal way. Just like turning on a tap and expecting water we just take it for granted that what goes in will come out. I suppose in the absence of anything different occurring we just take so much for granted.

Anyway not having heard anything this week, we phoned the hospital only to find out the consultant/surgeon was on holiday. His secretary was also away and calls were taken by another department who made a note for the secretary on her return Tuesday next. After putting down the phone down my feelings went into overdrive. Sitting for 2 hours or so with all these thoughts going through my head my old self suddenly came through the haze of thought mist.

Solo boating for many years before I had the good fortune to fall in love with Jaq, I was always quite laid back with sayings like `what will be will be` and `there`s always tomorrow`. The latter was used when waking up to rain.

With the former in mind I decided the cancer will do what it`s going to do until the surgeon removes it. Unless any of you are handy with a scalpel then I`ll wait. My thinking is that it`s been growing in there for probably a long time and is unlikely to suddenly double in size in 2 weeks and if it does then `what will be............ If the worst happens then A and E (Emergency room in U.S.) will soon get me sorted with an emergency surgeon.

With my "there's always tomorrow" saying, the surgery can be done another day even though I did have thoughts of it being next week.

Now all these thoughts are coupled together with the fact I have no pain, just discomfort, and the fact that as long as I take a laxative everything leaves my body like a tap opening leaving no chance for Mr. C to shut things down which has in the past caused me enough pain  to bang my head on the bathroom wall. You do not want to experience that my friends. So until the time arrives for surgery Jaq is being wary of what I eat and is putting me on some herbs but I`ll let Jaq tell you.
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Of the 640 pounds of goods I shipped from the U.S., a lot of that weight included books. When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer I read every book available in Neill Public Library (Pullman, Washington) which I thought was relevant to my situation. My university degree taught me how to engage in comprehensive, sound research methods. 

A few of the books that I purchased and used, in the order I found them are:
Living Proof: Medical Mutiny by Michael Gearin-Tosh
The Gerson Therapy by Charlotte Gerson and Morton Walker D.P.M.
Herbal Medicine, Healing and Cancer by Donald R. Yance Jr. C.N., H.M., A.H.G. 
Essiac: A Native Herbal Cancer Remedy by Cynthia Olson with Dr. Jim Chen and Christopher Gussa

After reading "Living Proof" I knew if Gerson worked for Michael Gearin-Tosh (deadly myeloma--death within 2 years of diagnosis with standard cancer therapies; he was still alive and healthy 15 years later) I too could survive. I used the Gerson Therapy combined with Essiac with the addition of Blood Root tincture to great success. I also took Modified Citrus Pectin and Chlorella and a host of other supplements required or recommended by Gerson.

One can find a load of info on the 'Net about Essiac--some of it accurate--and a lot of it inaccurate. The book above is the most comprehensive, accurate book about this Ojibway medicine used for thousands of years to heal cancer. It has undergone trials by Canadian nurse Rene Caisse under the supervision of several physicians. Rene refused to release the formula to any pharmaceutical companies because she knew they would appropriate this information, slap a copyright on it and sell it to suffering cancer patients. The formula belongs to the First Nations Ojibway tribe first and foremost, and Rene was adamant it should be freely available to anyone with cancer. 

When Caisse released some of the herbal product to Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in the U.S. they completely disregarded her instructions (after all she was A. a mere woman and B. only a nurse) and froze the samples prior to administering them for the trail. It didn't work and as a result SKCC takes every opportunity to inform the public that Essiac is snake oil. Yet President John F. Kennedy's personal physician used Essiac exactly as Rene Caisse instructed and healed himself of stomach cancer. I am a trained medicinal herbalist and I knew Essiac would work for me.

Modified Citrus Pectin--Every time we peel an orange there is a white pith under the skin which most folks discard. It is contains extremely potent chemicals which inhibit the ability of cancer cells to "stick" to other organs in order to form tumors and new growth sites in the process of metastases. In its natural form, citrus pith is a long chain of molecules which means our stomachs cannot process it and make use of it as one needs in this instance. Bio-chemists have shortened its molecular biology to create a short chain capable of being digested and used by our guts--a tasteless powder called Modified Citrus Pectin. 

Chlorella is a one celled green algae food product that is highly nutrative. It improves immune function in people undergoing cytotoxic cancer therapy (chemo and radiation). Chlorella increases macrophage activity, activates both T-cells and B-cells, and has shown anti-tumor effects. Chlorellan, a substance found in Chlorella, stimulates interferon production. Chlorella is also a whole food which stimulates the growth of friendly bacteria providing a probiotic effect, strengthening gut flora and resisting disease. 

A friend of mine was a nurse at a major Oncology Unit on the West Coast of the USA. She told me that she has seen many hundreds of patients come into her Unit--come and go and return again as they moved through chemo and radiation therapy and/or their cancer progressed. Those who survived and recovered nearly always used Chlorella as a part of their treatment.  

Finally and for free: cancer requires an anaerobic (low oxygen) environment in which to thrive. Deep breathing to pull as much oxygen into one's blood stream as possible helps. And DON'T eat sugar--at all! Cancer requires glucose for growth which is why there is no exhaustion like that from cancer. Those cells never die and they steal every bit of sugar/sucrose/glucose they can find to do replicate and grow. Don't feed the disease!!!

One fact is clearly known about cancer: no one survives it without healing their immune system. One can treat the symptoms of this wretched disease and sometimes remission will occur. Without healing one's immune system cancer always returns. These herbs and products have been ordered and will be delivered tomorrow. 
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Now I don`t know how you all feel about alternative treatments but all the reading I have done recently turns me right off Chemo and Radio therapies. My feeling of my short research is that a lot of medical folk out there feel it kills more than it cures. Not sure how all that poison going in to your body can be doing good. It is supposed to attack the cancerous cells but it can`t differentiate between the good and the bad so the way I read the medical people is it just wipes out your immune system so I follow what Jaq is saying.

I am interested to hear your opinions. Like smoking and stories of uncle Bob smoking 40 a day and living till 96, the "chemo sorted me" stories will come up. As we know there are always exceptions but generally lung cancer is common among smokers with few reaching 96, and from my readings chemo fails more than it works. Part of my deep thinking tells me I should avoid every medical aid other than surgery. 

So our minds are of one in that we will cruise on and when the appointment materialises we will turn around. Canal and River Trust have visited and are aware of our situation. They will issue overstay permits wherever we need to moor if we contact them as things develop.

Too much reading about the subject, too many thoughts and worst of all a lot of "what if's." I banished such thoughts from my life years back as they just stop a person from doing anything. Anyway just some of what is happening here on the good ship Nb Valerie.